Suffering abuse for years, the victim finally finds her voice and steps forward. She shares her story with someone she trusts, someone she loves, someone she thought would understand her more than anyone else. You see, that person was also a victim. Many times before she had tried. She had gone forward and told someone close to her about the nightmare she lived in and those times before, she had been called a liar or ignored. The abuser always saying that whomever she told would say just that. No one will listen. No one will believe you. No one will care. In the end, what makes abuse so powerful is that the abuser is telling the truth and you feel trapped and alone. No one will believe you.
So stepping forward she tried again. She opened her heart and mind and she spoke. In the end it was another battle. The person she thought would understand because of their own history had chosen a different path. In abuse there are choices to be made. You choose to either end the abuse cycle, be an abuser yourself, or continue to live as a victim. It appears as though the person she told chose the path of abuser. Initially the person listened, cared, comforted, but wouldn't/couldn't let the victim take control of herself which was the most important thing to her. The victim tried to take control of her own destiny, tried to find her own strength to step out and step up. The victim only wanted support, someone to care, not another person to control her.
The last person she opened up to called her a liar and said many other hurtful things. She never gave her a chance to prove herself. Instead accusing her of making things up for attention, creating her own bruises and attacking herself.
In the end, she did get away. She did free herself from the abuse and she vowed to never be like the people she'd saught help from before. She vowed to help others just like her, by listening and caring and comforting and by supporting, never controlling. She saught forgiveness from a higher power, and approval from only that one.
Out of the darkness stepped friends, real friends and people who reached out to her. People who never tried to control her and never pushed her to do more than she could handle. People who listened and cared and comforted. People came forward who offered light and positivity. People who were stable and safe. None of these people called her a liar, all shared in her spirituality, and love.
In looking you can see that the one, the abuser, has very few friends. Those that surround her lie to her and tell her what she wants to hear to get what they want from her. They all only want to be her only friend and deceptively control things in her life, leaving her to try to gain control of others. Never are these people her age in maturity or education and never are these people her equal. She is surrounded by those who would deceive her and have lied to her and yet she points the "liar" finger at others, unwilling to admit.
In looking at the lights, they are surrounded by love and many people who care about them, who'd never leave them in the dark. They are surrounded by people who are their equals and who they would stand up for or sit quietly for. These people are surrounded in a sea of love and warmth not lies and deceit. Soaking their sorrows in booze and pills and the approval of others. Their empty promises of never leaving or walking away for any reason and their empty words of love and wisdom. A wise person realizes when the lies are coming from themselves.
In the end there are those, the abusers, who despise life and what they've had to endure and then there are those who are grateful for life and all it has taught them. I still believe that everyone we meet in life has something to teach us. Some teach us what we want to be in life or simple lessons and others teach us where we don't want to go and who we never want to be. I want to be a mother, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a neice, a cousin, a friend. I want people to see the light inside of me and feel the love I have to share. I want my friends to know that they are loved. I have friends who have been with me since I was a child and then I have friends who have only been my friend for a few months. In the end though I love them all the same. And yes, they have other friends than just me. Through the darkness some have stepped forward and accepted me as their daughter, stepped forward with pride and loved me for what I've been through and were I've been. I have had some amazing experiences after leaving the darkness out of my life.
For all of this and making it through, I am grateful and I am grateful for life, my life and my friends and my family.
And for those who wonder...I've never been one to go for blood. The original abuser is living his life and I am living mine. Life is peaceful finally. I reached out for therapy and was able to find myself and who I needed to be. Control is a powerful thing and should never be given to anyone else. Your life is your's to live, no one elses. Stand up, dust off, and move on in your way. A very wise person told me, "There is no wrong or right answer...only the answer that leaves you in peace."
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